


1993

by ESawyer



Series: The Years In Between [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, POV Remus Lupin, Post Second War with Voldemort, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 21:45:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18019025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESawyer/pseuds/ESawyer
Summary: Somehow, it has been twelve years.





	1993

Somehow, it has been twelve years. 

And Remus thinks that things may be looking up for him. Ever the eccentric, Dumbledore has asked him to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts at the school. His automatic reaction was to say no, but when he remembered that Harry would be there, he jumped at the opportunity. He wants to get to know the child that he should have always been able to. He thinks that Dumbledore might have asked him for this exact reason, and now Remus is even more indebted to the headmaster. 

Remus makes his own way to Hogwarts. Dumbledore had written to him the day before, inviting him early, but Remus wants to retrace the steps that he had once taken with James, Sirius and Peter. Remus can not think of any other way to get to Hogwarts, anyway. 

He gets to Platform Nine and Three Quarters early. So early, in fact, that there is barely anyone there yet. For a moment, he just stands and stares at the scarlet train, his heart simultaneously swelling and breaking in half. One million happy memories rush through his mind, but they’re now too painful for him to focus on. 

When he eventually forces himself to get on the train, he turns to the left and starts walking to the compartment at the very end of the train they always used to occupy. He sits in the seat besides the window and looks around, tears springing to his eyes when he remembers the laughter that used to fill this room. Now it is only silence. 

He stands up again and picks up his trunk, looking down at the peeling letters:  _ Professor R.J Lupin.  _ It was a stupid present from a christmas long gone after Remus had admitted to his friends that he would one day like to be a teacher. There was something unnecessarily cruel about the fact that none of them were there to see it happen. 

As he pushes his trunk onto the luggage rack, he notices a number of scratches on the wood behind it. At first, he thinks that there is something quite peculiar about these scratches but then a memory comes rushing back to him; it had been Sirius’ ideas to scratch their initials somewhere in the compartment. Not somewhere too obvious, but somewhere that one day people might find and wonder who these initials could belong to.Remus, being the tallest, had been the one to do it with a pocket knife that Sirius had.

_ PP. SB. JP. _

Later, they had added Lily.

_ PP. SB. JP. LE. _

Remus shoves his trunk onto the luggage rack and hides their initials from view. It is too much for him, to think about how he had once had the greatest support system in the world around him at all times. He sits back down on the seat and rests his head against the window, soon drifting off to sleep. 

_ A sudden banging on the front door tears Remus’ attention away from the moon. He takes in a deep breath and tries to focus on the scent. It takes him a few moments to realise that it is Mary MacDonald and he hurries to the front door, grabbing his wand on the way. Just in case. _

_ He flings the front door open to reveal a sobbing Mary. She is still in her robes but her cloak is hanging off her, as though she has put it on in a hurry. Remus stares  at her for a few moments, wondering what on earth could be making her so hysterical and then remembers the sense of foreboding that has been stalking him for weeks. _

_ “They’re gone,” she chokes out, “He killed them! He killed Lily and James! Oh, Remus, they're gone!” _

_ Her words seem to echo around the entire world, and he can not understand how the world has not ended. Remus’ world has just ended. For the longest time, Remus’ world has just been Lily, James, Sirius and Peter, and it has just shattered and there is no way he will ever be able to piece it back together. _

_ “How?” Remus whispered, “Sirius was Secret Keeper! He never could have..” the realisation hits him like a tonne of bricks, “N-No! Sirius wouldn't have - Sirius would never, he’d sooner die than give them up...” _

_ Mary seems at a loss of what to say and just shakes her head, “He must have done, Rem. How else?” _

_ “Where is he?” Remus asks, “where's Sirius?” _

_ “I don't know,” she says, “No one knows. I was with the Order and when the news came through...” She bursts into tears again and Remus does not know what to do. What he really wants to do is slam the door in her face and never speak to anyone again. His head is banging with the sort of headache that he has never had in his life but his heart is aching even more. Lily and James...gone. _

His eyes open and he conjures a flame, for the train is in complete darkness. James is sat across from him, looking as though he is about to faint. And Remus does not blame him. None of them had ever dealt with Dementors well. Remus blinks and realises that this is not James, because James’ eyes are not green and he does not have a massive scar on his face. He glances around the compartment and his eyes fall on someone who could have been Frank Longbottom, if not the fact that he has the kind eyes of Alice Fortescue. 

Remus does not believe in fate. He stopped believing in fate when he befriended and loved the man who ruined his life, but even he could not deny that there might have been a higher power at work that made Harry Potter and his friends choose this compartment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank-you for reading! 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/e-sawyer


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